Challenges and Family Dynamics Between Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law

Family unions and parental differences

I have been married for six years after a long engagement that lasted thirteen years. My husband, for me, is a fantastic person, he’s funny, nice and very determined. I know that many of his qualities are the result of the upbringing his parents gave him. They always helped him when he needed them. They have always been close to him maybe sometimes too much. Maybe I noticed this because of the fact that my parents are different from them. They have always supported me, and never interfered too much in my choices…of course, because I have always been a judicious person. I may be wrong , but I think that parents’ love doesn’t mean to have a constant presence in children’s life, but often parents show their love above all leaving their children free to grow up.

Meetings with in-laws

I remember the first time I met my in laws. I was nineteen years old and I used to be very shy. Before I met my in laws, my husband’s friends told me that I should be careful about my mother in law because she wasn’t a very nice person .My father in law is very cheerful, sometimes he chats too much, but he is always sincere. My mother in law is a very determined person (my husband is like her) and she is also very protective with her son and daughter. Sometimes I feel that she isn’t completely honest with me, and that often she sees me as an enemy, a person who tries to take her son away from her.

I don’t have any children but if I had some, I wouldn’t be like her …I think.

Sunday lunches and pressures

Two Sundays a month my husband and I go to see them for lunch. Every time we go I feel under pressure. It seems that whatever I do is never right! The food I cook is never as good as the food she cooks . Our clothes are never ironed well. Either I spend too much money, or I spend too little. In short, whatever I do always seems to be the wrong thing However, I know that my in-laws are not bad people , but sometimes they grumble too much.

What are the wedding preparations and misunderstandings?

When my husband and I go back home on Sunday night after lunch we always have a laugh about what had happened during the day There has never been real quarrels between me and my mother in law, but the only time that we had a bad one was during my wedding preparation (unfortunately over here in Italy it happens quite often, is it the same in the UK ?. Well, my husband and I wanted to get married in the afternoon, but my mother in law didn’t agree as she preferred the morning . We wanted to organize a simple wedding with just few friends and relatives, but she insisted in having an expensive one. My husband chose the best man, and I wanted some of my friends to be my bridesmaids but my mother in law didn’t like them.

Since I didn’t agree in changing them, my mother in law began to get angry threatening that she wouldn’t allow us to get married. At the end we clarified the situation finding some meeting points.

Trip to Madrid with in-laws

Despite some small incomprehension, I love my in laws, and it’s for this reason that last month my husband and I bought both my in laws and my parents a trip to Madrid. But for fear that they could have had some language problems , I went with them. Unfortunately my husband didn’t come as he was busy at work . As you can imagine it has been for me a real sacrifice going on holiday with them, but for love we do this and more, don’t we?