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Bruce..
Bruce.. - Ominide - 43 Punti
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Buongiorno, sono nuovo e avrei bisogno di un vostro aiuto! :)
Vi ringrazio tantissimo e ne approfitto per dire che il forum è magnifico!
__________________________________

Hi!
My name is Andrea, and now I want describe me.
I'm fourteen; my hair are nut-brown, us the color of my eyes. I'm tall but very thin.
I live whit my family in a town in *MIAREGIONE*: *MIOPAESE*, when I go to "Liceo Scientifico".
My family is composed by my mother Carmela, my father Giuseppe, my brother Francesco, my sister Alessandra and naturally me. My father works in the main hall, my mother instead doesn't work. My brothers are older that me; in fact, Francesco is twenty-five years old, Alessandra is twenty-two years old; they go to university.
The part of me that I prefer is my character: I asdmit that I always want to have my own way. I'm very friendly, but I need much time for make friends and I choose few us my friends. I hate disloyality, injustice and I detest lying people.
When I live there aren't many people, so, when I haven't to study, I have much free time.
There are a lot of things that I like doing: I can't say what I like more, but I can say that I very love writing. I love creating characters, histories, situation, places, parallel universes and much more... I also like reading; books are good friends. My favourite books are "Dorian Gray's Picture" by Oscar Wilde, "1984" by George Orwell and "Harry Potter" by J. K. Rowling.
I play piano: music is very important for me, and I often go to church when I play ORGANO (COME SI DICE? XD)
I'm not good at drawing, even if I love it and if I readed a lot of draw-tutorial (but I was unsuccessful).
This is all! :)

Allora, che dite? Mi aiutate un po'? COsì dopo faccio Storia dell'Arte e Promessi Sposi XD
Un saluto a tutti ;)

A_Genn
A_Genn - Eliminato - 901 Punti
Salva

Credo di aver corretto quasi tutto rendendo il testo più scorrevole, ma non ho capito cosa volevi dire in alcuni punti... :beatin
Se me lo dici provo a correggerlo!


Hi!
My name is Andrea,
I'm fourteen; my hair are nut-brown, as the color of my eyes. I'm tall but very thin.
I live whit my family in a town in *MIAREGIONE*: *MIOPAESE*, when I go to "Liceo Scientifico".
This is my nice family:
my mother Carmela,my father Giuseppe, my brother Francesco, my sister Alessandra and I. My father works in the main hall(sala principale??), my mother is an housewife. My brothers are older than me; in fact, Francesco is twenty-five and Alessandra is twenty-two; They already go to university...
The best thing I like about me is my character: I asdmit that I always want to have my own way(che cosa volevi dire con questa frase?). I'm very friendly, but I need much time to make friends and I choose few like friends(che cosa volevi dire?). I hate disloyality, injustice and I hate lying people,too.
There aren't many people where I am in *Nome Paese*, so, when I haven't to study, I have much spare time.
There are a lot of things I like doing: I can't say what I like better, but I really can say this: I very love writing . I love creating characters, histories,places... I also like reading; books are good friends. My favourite books are "Dorian Gray's Picture" by Oscar Wilde, "1984" by George Orwell and "Harry Potter" by J. K. Rowling.
Also,I like playing piano: music is very important for me, and I often go to church when I play organ.
I'm not good at drawing, even if I love it and if I readed a lot of draw-tutorials (but They didn't work).
This is all! :)

Bruce..
Bruce.. - Ominide - 43 Punti
Salva
Grazie mille delle risposte :)
Comunque, chiarirò i dubbi: asdmit è errore di battitura, volevo scrivere "admit".
Quella frase che avete visto l'ho trovata in un esempio sul dizionario d'inglese, e significa "voglio avere sempre ragione". Poi qui ho corretto con:
I choose few as my friends.
Grazie comunque! :D :D
Temitope.A
Temitope.A - Habilis - 155 Punti
Salva
Hi!
My name is Andrea, and now I want describe myself [Ti consiglio "I'm going to describe myself].
I'm fourteen; my hairs are brown (solo se solo castano chiaro si dice auburn), as the color of my eyes. I'm tall but very thin.
I live whit my family in a town in *MIAREGIONE*: *MIOPAESE*, where I attend "Liceo Scientifico".
My family is composed by my mother Carmela, my father Giuseppe, my brother Francesco, my sister Alessandra and naturally me. My father works in the main hall, my mother instead doesn't work. My brothers are older than me; as a matter of fact (ricorda per il futuro, infatti non è in fact), Francesco is twenty-five years old, Alessandra is twenty-two years old; they're frequenting university.
The part of me that I prefer is my character: I admit that I always want to have my own way. I'm very friendly, but I need much time to make friends and I choose few as my friends. I hate disloyality, injustice and I detest lying people.
Where I live there aren't many people, so, when I don't have to study, I have a lot of free time.
There are many (per non ripetere) things that I like doing: I can't say what I like more, but I can say that I [s]very[/s] (ridondante) love writing. I love creating characters, histories, situations, places, parallel universes and much more... I also like reading; books are good friends. My favourite books are "Dorian Gray's Picture" by Oscar Wilde, "1984" by George Orwell and "Harry Potter" by J. K. Rowling.
I play piano: music is very important to me, and I often go to church when I play ORGAN
I'm not good at drawing, even if I love it and (non devi ripetere if) I readed a lot of draw-tutorials (but I was unsuccessful [ti consiglio ...tutorials (unsuccessfully)).
This is all! :)

Correzioni prettamente grammaticali e lessicali. Alcune frasi le avrei rigirate ma mi pare non sia necessario per ora. Mi pare una buona descrizione per la tua età.
Due consigli: Ripassa o studia l'uso delle preposizioni in inglese, per molti verbi non sempre si può fare una traduzione pari pari dall'italiano. Il livello di inglese che una persona conosce spesso dipende da quanto riesce ad essere corretto nelle preposizioni e vario nei verbi usati, che è il secondo consiglio. Ogni qualvolta puoi allontanati dai verbi generici (do, go in primis) per scegliere verbi o phrasal verbs più specifici ed adatti alla situazione.
tiscali
tiscali - Tutor - 22996 Punti
Salva
Un paio di correzioni:

Nella frase "and now I want describe myself" devi aggiungere TO e diventa "I want TO describe myself".

Nella frase "My brothers are older than me" è sbagliata perchè ha un solo fratello (e una sorella) quindi diventerebbe "My brother and my sister are older than me".

La parola "disloyality" è sbagliata è si scrive DISLOYALTY.

Nella frase "and I often go to church when I play ORGAN" io cambierei e metterei "and I often go to church WHERE I play ORGAN"; secondo me è meglio così.

Nella frase "I readed a lot of draw-tutorials" il verbo READED non può stare in quella forma in quanto read è un verbo irregolare e non vige la regola dell'aggiunta della desinenza -ed alla fine pertanto diventa "I read/red a lot of draw-tutorials".
Questo topic è bloccato, non sono ammesse altre risposte.
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