icaf
icaf - Sapiens - 717 Punti
Salva
Potete correggermi questo testo mi serve per la maturità:

Facebook, created in Cambridge in the United States by Mark Zuckerberg, was originally designed for students of Harvard University, but it was soon also open to students from other University. After all who had more 13 years could register, becoming the most important social network in the world. Users must register before using the site, after which they may create a personal profile, add other users add friends and send messages. In the profile page can put pictures and hobby, they can send also instan messages. They can join groups of people with similar interests or play games across the internet. However be a little wary to use Facebook because if people displays it your town, date of birth, marita status and other personal facts, someone might be able to get enough information to steal you identity or might violate your privacy. People can set the profile restricting to see the personal information. The last Aprii it was created a Safety page where, about 19 American country, they will put some video; and advances about the privacy policy for the protection of children for combat violence and cybei bullying.

GRAZIE MILLE!!!
{Zahra}
{Zahra} - Eliminato - 11670 Punti
Salva
Hai la traduzione? Cosi` posso controllare meglio.
icaf
icaf - Sapiens - 717 Punti
Salva
no.. questo l'ho scritto io e perciò vorrei capire se ci sono errori grammaticali o di lessico dato che fa parte della mia tesina per la maturità d'inglese
{Zahra}
{Zahra} - Eliminato - 11670 Punti
Salva
Facebook, created in Cambridge in the United States by Mark Zuckerberg, was originally designed for students of Harvard University, but it was soon also opened to students from other universities. Soon, anyone who was over 13 years old could register; this allowed the (web)site to become the most popular existing social network. Users must register before using the site, after which they may create a personal profile, add other users as friends and send messages. In the profile page you can upload pictures and insert your hobbies. You can join groups of people with similar interests and play games across the internet. However, it’s important to be wary, if you display enough information (your address, birth date, marital status), someone might be able to steal your identity or violate your privacy. People can restrict the amount of information displayed, though, especially publicly. Last April a Safety page was created where, videos and advances about the privacy policy for the protection of children for combat violence and cyber bullying were uploaded .

Ti consiglio di far attenzione alle frasi impersonali, usa sempre ‘you’. Ricordati anche di controllare l’ordine della frase e se hai inserito un soggetto o meno. Non ho ben capito cosa c’entravano quei ‘19 American country’ quindi l’ho tralasciato.
Questo topic è bloccato, non sono ammesse altre risposte.
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